19 Facts about Baha’i spies in Iran

19 Facts about Baha’i spies in Iran
June 26th, 2009
From an Iranian

To: The Respected President of the Guinness Book of World Records

Dear Sir,

We would like to nominate Iran for consideration as the world record holder with respect to the nineteen (19) accomplishments below:

1. Iran is the first country in the world to label over 400,000 followers of the same religions as spies.

2. Iran is the first country in the world where spies are freely and openly going about their lives and the government is not apprehensive about them. However, once in a while, a few of these spies are arrested in order to keep the government militia from boredom; then the spies are interrogated for a few months so that interrogators may gain experience. Sometimes, spies are tortured for the practice of the torturers. Ultimately, a few face firing squads for testing of the guns.

3. Iran is the first country in which spies are born as spies. There is no need for the courts to prove the allegations against them since they are innately convicts from birth. They have no rights; therefore, there is no need to consider their civil rights when bringing charges against them.

4. Iran is the first country where if spies recant their faith and convert to Islam, they are no longer spies, but are considered saved.

5. Iran is the first country in which spies, when arrested, have to attend Islamic studies classes – with the aim of their conversion to Islam.

6. Iran is the first country where its spies are secret agents of Britain, Russia, America and Israel, all at the same time. Interestingly, the spies themselves and the leaders of these countries are unaware of such affiliations; only Shariyat-Madari (editor-in-chief of Kayhan, government of Iran backed newspaper) knows.

7. Iran is the first country that has had thousands of spy groups and spy gatherings that have been in contact with the Ministry of Intelligence for the past 25 years.

8. Iran is the first country that banned gatherings of thousands of espionage groups and asked spies to dismantle their assemblies. However, the members of these groups are required to sign pledges consenting that they will not teach their religious beliefs! Even more interesting, members of these groups refuse to sign such pledges.

9. Iran is the first country where spies are not paid. Instead, they spend their own money to tend to the affairs of their community, to eliminate poverty and improve literacy. These activities are the biggest proofs of spying charges against them.

10. Iran is the first country where spies introduce themselves as followers of a religion that the government of Iran equates with espionage. The followers of this religion do not even outwardly hide their convictions to save their own lives.

11. Iran is the first country where spies have established moral and educational courses for their members. Strangely, the government denies them entrance to universities to prevent them from spying in institutions of higher education.

12. Iran is the first country where spies are drafted for two years of obligatory military service. They are even given guns and receive intensive military training.

13. Iran is the first country where spies receive lashes with utmost love; their properties are confiscated with Islamic fairness; they are executed with utmost kindness and Islamic compassion. The government bestows, with utmost friendliness, civil rights specified for spies, in the form of imprisonments, forced free labor, insults and slanders.

14. Iran is the only country in which, there are potentially 40 million spies. Women that ask for the same rights as men are called spies. Men that defend these women are also called spies.

15. Iran is the first country that provides all necessary means for these spies to leave the country and cheers when they have left.

16. Iran is the first country that doesn’t find it necessary to compile documents and evidences to prove espionage charges. Whoever says that he or she is a Baha’i, that person is automatically a spy. Whoever says women are human beings with the same rights as men is a spy. Whoever is engaged in medical research for finding a cure for AIDS is a spy. Whoever establishes an N.G.O. (Non Governmental Organization) for helping children and saving the environment is a spy!

17. Iran is the first country in which at the election time, nobody is labeled spy and all have equal rights and should vote.

18. Iran is the first country in which spies, without any bias and in all fairness, are convicted, sentenced, insulted, and their names publicized by mass media, before they are even tried in courts!

19. Iran is the only country in which Baha’is are not permitted to work in any government office or agency, they hold no position of influence, they have no access to any sensitive or classified document, and they have only opened their little shops and are busy with their businesses, and yet they are still spies!!!

[Translation by Iran Press Watch.]
CommentsAdd your comment below...
Peter Burns | June 26th, 2009 - 11:12 pm
Excellent, I am glad and very happy that I am a spy ?
Brett Zamir | June 27th, 2009 - 12:53 am
Thank you… Sardonic wit is a truly befitting way to address something so blatantly false.

“Everybody knows that the boat is leaking
“Everybody knows that the captain lied
“Everybody got this broken feeling
“Like their father or their dog just died
“…That’s how it goes
“Everybody knows…”
(Leonard Cohen)

Prayers for Baha’is in their teaching work so that by their actions and character, it becomes even more apparent to “everybody” which is truth and which is falsehood…
Brett Zamir | June 27th, 2009 - 12:57 am
“…Consider these martyrs of unquestionable sincerity, to whose truthfulness testifieth the explicit text of the Book, and all of whom, as thou hast witnessed, have sacrificed their life, their substance, their wives, their children, their all, and ascended unto the loftiest chambers of Paradise. Is it fair to reject the testimony of these detached and exalted beings to the truth of this pre-eminent and glorious Revelation and to regard as acceptable the denunciations which have been uttered against this resplendent Light by this faithless people, who for gold have forsaken their faith, and who for the sake of leadership have repudiated Him Who is the First Leader of all mankind?”

(Baha’u'llah, Kitab-i-Iqan, par. 252)
Safa | June 27th, 2009 - 1:34 am
I did not know that I am a spy!!!?? Who do I sue for 45 years of pay??
Graham | June 27th, 2009 - 2:50 am
Hey! seeing that I am also a spy can I please, please, pretty please with sugar on it, have some of those cool gadgets??

Thanks.
Nivaldo Nicoliche | June 27th, 2009 - 3:07 am
Good Lucky for people Baha’i on World, on Iran too.
pari | June 27th, 2009 - 6:22 am
i have many bahai’s friends that are the best people i ever seen in my life.
Badi'u'llah Galinkin | June 27th, 2009 - 8:05 am
That was brilliant. Proof yet again that not only or us Baha’i’s “spies” but we are also incrediblely gift at satire. As one friend put it someday I will be able to go to Iran, and then I will be their honored guest….
Bishop | June 27th, 2009 - 9:15 am
I could’nt continue reading this.It pains me that our fellow human beings inflict such pain on Baha’i friends.All the more reason 4 me to pray for unity,love and peace.
Irani | June 27th, 2009 - 10:14 am
Somes it up realy
Iain | June 27th, 2009 - 11:14 am
Thank you for showing up so completely the stupidity of the “Baha’is = spies” lie.
Mozhgan | June 27th, 2009 - 11:27 am
The espionage network has a couple of millions of spies the world over! They are spreading the message of the unity of the human race throughout the world, all inspired by the writings of the Founder of their Faith . Who’s going to stop them? -a worldwide network that is welcome in the four corners of the earth?!!!!!
tooba | June 27th, 2009 - 2:25 pm
Where is the original Persian of this article?
tooba | June 27th, 2009 - 2:28 pm
EXCELLENT! loved this article! Whoever the writer is, please tell them to write more.
tooba | June 27th, 2009 - 2:30 pm
wanted to add to all my praise that I would like to see Iran be replaced by ‘Islamic Republic of Iran’ in this article. These descriptions apply to IRI not to our beloved Iran.
Danielle | June 27th, 2009 - 2:35 pm
I am not so certain this should be posted right in this delicate time for so many friends in Iran…It feels like a provocation to me and I thought we were ask to refrain to discuss such matters on open internet sites…
Kamy | June 27th, 2009 - 3:00 pm
Super article, exposing once again the absurdity of Uncle Napoleonism! Good article on this also here http://bahaiproofs.com/content/baha%E2%80%99i-faith-british-russian-american-colonialist-conspiracy
Ali | June 27th, 2009 - 4:27 pm
I hear 100,000,000 “spies” from various nations and tribes of the world have visited and paid their respect at your Baha’i House of Worship in India too. I think Ayas need to upgrade to Baha’u'llah and the New Era from Stone Age 1.0.
Anthony | June 27th, 2009 - 8:03 pm
I don’t know whether to laugh or weep.
behzad | June 28th, 2009 - 3:15 am
Being raised to love everyone under the teachings of the Baha’is faith has been the greatest of bounties, It has given me a new perspective to world religions and oneness of mankind. The sooner we learn this the better mankind will be. Thank you for this beautiful article.
Cecily | June 28th, 2009 - 5:47 am
Perhaps given the severity of the situation for the friends in Iran and all Iranians at the moment, we can use caution with utilizing sarcasm for discussing such matters. This is very well written but I hope it will not backfire and create more danger for people in Iran.
Anahid | June 28th, 2009 - 11:07 am
Dear Tooba,

Original Persian:
http://www.bab.blogfa.com/post-237.aspx

Dear Pari,

Thank you for your kind words.Some of my best friends are Muzlims.

Sincerely
Anahid
Marlice Van Zandt | June 28th, 2009 - 2:59 pm
A beautifully and well written piece. I commend the author. Thank you!!
Marty F | June 28th, 2009 - 3:06 pm
Here’s an idea …

Iran is the only country where these spies are considered spies! The rest of the world considers them good citizens!

With all these spies running around the country, Iran still manages to cut off communication via cellphone and internet whenever it wants to – whassup widdat?

Or, maybe it’s the essence of dates? Hmmmm.

Hey, I got a suggestion for IPW subscribers – print this article hundreds of thousands of times, send it in Farsi to all the officials of Iran – don’t be afraid to sign it! Send it to their UN delegation! Send it to their govt website! FLOOD them with it!

Let them know that these spies are worldwide! Such spies are the envy of every nation on the planet – for their character, their sense of citizenship, their aid to the poor … we should all be such spies! Let the Supreme Leader and the Prosecutor General and the President know they can’t hide behind their ‘positions’ anymore!!

That’ll fix ‘em!
sb | June 29th, 2009 - 11:19 am
Sheesh! I really need to upgrade my profile, rewrite my resume! All these years I thought I was a humdrum suburbanite with two cats and a library subscription. Now I see the truth! I can’t wait to tell my friends and family! . . . When we gather together and say Baha’i prayers while contemplating the advent of World Peace, we are actually members of a vast world-embracing network . . . OF SPYS!! Come to think of it, it’s TRUE , every time we notice someone behaving in a kind, compassionate way . . . we immediately check in with the Chief of Operations a.k.a. “Heavenly Father” a.k.a. “Most Great Lord.” Thank you IPW and Mr. “Iranian” for helping me develop a stronger sense of “Mission.”
Zahid Anam | July 2nd, 2009 - 5:01 pm
Well written. So strange yet so true.
omar trianova | July 4th, 2009 - 12:55 am
i wanna 2 tarvel to any country have expirincies and alot of scientict who i am to put me in the right way to be a good man in any thing .waiting 4 any answer :S:S
glorystock.com | July 5th, 2009 - 8:05 pm
Looks like 1984.

Hey Orwell are you looking at this?

Documenting the Persecution of the Baha’i Community in Iran

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